finally....

Finally decided to write again. Haven't really been in the mood for it. If I miss a day I so easily never want to do it again, but then some time passes and it sounds fun again. I love to talk about controversial or serious topics (as long as they stay calm--I hate when feelings start to get hurt!!), but to get it into words on the screen is too hard for me. I spend too much time getting my thoughts together to make sense when I'd rather talk about it the next time I see you. So because of this inability to write well (don't say you haven't noticed) I write about boring, everyday stuff and it even bores me sometimes. I try to dabble onto the serious side every now and then but it usually ends up in gibberish. I pray Henry gets RJ's brains and my creativity cuz I be lackin' in the smarts area.

We just had a little party with our Sunday School class and RJ left to clean until the wee hours so the house is quiet and now it's time to blog. I feel strange calling it Sunday School when I'm 28 years old. The correct phrase is "Adult Bible Fellowship" aka, ABF. There, that sounds better.

I started babysitting a little boy this week who will be 2 in August. I have him the full day on Wednesday and Fridays. It's an adjustment, but I think it will go well. I realized that Henry is kind of a bully on his own turf with other little kids. And here I thought I had a "sensitive" boy. Nope. I'm only going to do it for about 6 weeks and then it's back to my old babysitting gig which I kind of miss. 3 short hours, 3 mornings a week goes way quicker than 2 full days. I'm telling myself that it's good practice. It's a TINY glimpse of life with more than one child. I'm sure all of you with more than 1 kid are thinking "yeah right!", but I did say TINY. Or should I say, tiny.

Other news: I would love to have another baby. When some people think about getting pregnant they worry about being sick, the tiredness, the emotions, etc, (which are all horrible, not fun things!), but I worry every time I go to the bathroom that I'll see blood. Considering one goes to the bathroom about 5-6 times a day, this gets quite exhausting. So, I'm praying hard that I don't allow my thoughts to even go there. It's a struggle, though. Praying for your child or a child-to-be has been one of the most humbling things I've done. To know that I don't deserve anything, yet serve a loving and graceful God who gives us children is beyond my comprehension. Then to have a child who is healthy seems unreal. Why me, God? I know I don't deserve a healthy child anymore or less than anyone else. So to pray that we would be able to get pregnant and keep our next baby is even more humbling. It's hard to even get the words out, but I do and I know He hears them. I don't know how He'll answer my prayers, but I do know I want whatever the answer may be to glorify Him. Whether through heartbreak and tears, or the happiness of a heartbeat on the ultrasound screen.

Even more news: The big 5 year anniversary is coming up on the 31st. Yiipppeee!! Have I mentioned how in love I am with my RJ? I just can't even handle it sometimes.

Alright, I'm off to enjoy a thrilling night alone. Have a great holiday weekend, everyone!